I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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