remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
