Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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