we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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