VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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