did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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