What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
