Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
