Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
