you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
