i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
