Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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