me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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