coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
