my shit smells like andre
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I think my moral compass just broke
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
