We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Will you blow on my dice?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
