hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
