Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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