That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize