My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
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