How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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