Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
