Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize