I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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