Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
