elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
