New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
bring money and cleavage
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
