My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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