I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
