i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
