Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
