I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
