Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
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