So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
