yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
