Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Randomize
