i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
