My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
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