I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
