it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
