Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
