every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
