sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
