its not stalking. its research.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
