He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
