Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
