about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
