so that wasnt chicken after all
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
