two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
