My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
