We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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