my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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