It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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