my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
