why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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