Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
