I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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