your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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