Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
