I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
