Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
