Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize